Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Will it ever get easier?

OK, I just want to start off by saying that I'm struggling. I know what I have to do and how to do it, so why is it so hard for me to stay on track and just do it? I have been "dieting" since I was 16 years old! I have always had body issues and always been the bigger girl in every group. I have tried every fast fix diet, pill, drink, you name it and I've done it. And as everyone knows it always ends up in weight loss that comes back and most of the time for me double comes back. I am trying to get the whole "diet" mentality out of my head and focus on the lifestyle change. The whole, nutritious foods, and exercise. I have lost and gained so much weight over the years I have lost track. I couldn't even tell you what my highest weight was because I never owned a scale for the simple fact that I didn't want to know! I am an emotional eater and am also trying to overcome that obstacle. Whether it's happy, sad, mad, whatever I feel the need to eat to try to fill whatever void I have at the moment or just for comfort. I mean it's like I have a part of my brain that triggers with emotion and I just eat. I want to fix it, I really do, but how? I do good for a while and then fall of the wagon and go right back to the same old me. I really started again in the beginning of October. I found an awesome group on FB with a bunch of awesome women all working to get healthy and fit! They inspire me and motivate me! After I found this group I decided to give it one last go and do it for good this time! At that point I went out bought a fancy little scale and went for it. I started out at 257.8 lbs. and last weigh in I was 252.8 lbs. so yeah 5 lbs. in two months. All because I don't stay on track and I loose one week and gain the next it's like a never ending cycle! I hear everyone say how it just "clicks" for them one day and I have had my moment where I told myself I never want to be this big again. I want to be healthy for my little girls. I want to be healthy, I want to be able to walk into any store and find something in my size. I want all these things yet I keep self sabotoshing. Why? Some have said "well, you just don't want it bad enough". I do! I REALLY do!! I know part of it is a cycle I have to break. Another part is always putting everyone else and their needs in front of my own. Walking around on eggshells to make everyone happy and have no conflict. I am a Libra and I am a lover not a fighter. I want peace all the time! LOL I am also a procrastinator, BAD! I know this is going to be a long road of trial and error. I really do want it ya'll and I am totally going for it no matter how many times I fall! Any suggestions or comments welcome! I learn new things everyday and am open to trying new things. Man, it feels good to get all this off my chest and out of my head! Hope you all have a fabulous rest of the day!!

Shawna















24 comments:

  1. I feel exactly the same way... you took the words right out of my mouth! We will get there doll sooner or later it just hard but it will be worth it!

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    1. Yes we will get there and it will be so worth it and rewarding! Thanks girl!

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  2. Shawna, I think you might be looking at this from the wrong perspective. You have lost FIVE pounds in two months. In ten more months, you will have lost 30 pounds total in a year. That is freaking awesome. It is not about getting it off quickly, but about getting it off. Period. I have been at it for more than a year and a half now and there were whole two month periods where I lost NOTHING, and I just sucked it up and kept trying. Don't look back, look forward. You will do this!! Just keep swimming, girl.

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    1. Yes, I seem to do that! LOL I am impatient as ya'll can tell. Plus, I am always super hard on myself and revert back to the way I think I am suppose to be treated. A story for another time... Saying I am worth it and believing it is hard. Thank you for the kind words! Loved your video ;) You rock!

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  3. Wow did you crawl into my head?! But yes I agree with Patricia....she is absolutely right!!! 5lbs is 5lbs.... it can be done!!!

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    1. LOL... Yes, it can be done and will be done. I will be where I want to be eventually if I never give up!! Thanks GF! Just need to keep on going.

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  4. I too agree with Patricia. Any loss is a loss! You are worth it, which is really hard to remember sometimes. I have been doing this for almost five months now and I have had several "relapses" back into the "old" lifestyle. That is what I have to keep reminding myself--I can never have that lifestyle again, even when I lose every last extra pound. It is what it is--and you can do it, just like many of the rest of us have!

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    1. Thank you! All you ladies keep me grounded!

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    2. Stephanie, I couldn't have said it better! I have relapsed recently and am just now getting back into the swing of things. I honestly feel that the most important thing to remember is that this is for the rest of my life. I will never be able to eat the way I used to and expect to stay thin. If that were the case we wouldn't have gotten fat in the fist place! Lean how to eat right and do it, man does that sound SIMPLE! I now it's not, but really that's all there is to it. In the words of a very intelligent being, Dory "Just Keep Swimming".

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  5. I love the calculations that Patricia uses! I agree with you that it is that as moms we tend to put others ahead of ourselves. But a happy healthy mom/ spouse/ daughter, etc is the best they can hope for. Keep going!

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    1. Yes I seem to forget to look at the bigger picture sometimes! Thank you :)

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  6. I need one of those funky scales! Shawna I dont really know what to say that will give you the kick start you need because really, it is about consistency, you have the motivation down pat, it is the repeating all the good work you do one day, over and over again. Maybe you need some sort of reward you can strive for (not just your health) but something that you want really badly like a holiday or a nice piece of jewelery or something? then mark off a calendar each and every day and when you have done it for X amount of time you get your reward? good luck babe we all love you x

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    1. Thank you Kate, you rock my socks! This sounds like an awesome idea! I hardly ever buy anything for myself it's always for my girls or my hubby ;) So I will try this!

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  7. I've been in the same boat. I have restarted and restarted because I can't get my mind with the program. I have been severely disappointed in myself. But I'm going to do it. You can do it! We'll all support you!

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    1. Thank you Connie! We can support each other!! We got this!!

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    2. Thank you Connie! We can support each other!! We got this!

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  8. Shawna! You are doing great! Small steps!! It is hard to make changes and stick to them!! You have done great with exercise! I am proud of you! And 5 lbs is 5lbs.. you will keep shedding more! I know you will! You got this!!!!

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    1. Thank you my friend!! You are my biggest supporter in this journey just so you know!! :)

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  9. Aww girl...i know EXACTLY how you feel that was me and sometimes still is ME. But the Lord has really helped me, every night I pray for my weight loss and i know its Him that helps me with those cravings. ALSO what i wanted to say was this...take BABY steps...dont go head first and try to do everthing right every single day. Set challenges for yourself: one week drink all your water, week two cut out fries (or whatver your vice is) ..baby steps encourage you to do bigger ones also weight EVERY DAY so you know how your body responds to things and you dont have to wait a whole week to see a -.5 on the scale when the day before you MAY have lost a pound but due to sodium on your weigh in day its up again! I keep a calendar on my bathroom door and its helped me out TONS! this comming from a girl who was 218 lbs and couldnt see no way out in sight. Good luck girl we are cheering you on!! Its not about perfection its about surviving and sustaining!!!

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  10. Thank You Lauryn! I am ashamed to say I don't spend nearly enough time praying and in the Lord's word like I should! I need to get back to it asap! I know HE would help me also! Thank you so much for all the advise you gave! I will start weighing every day to track my progress :) I read your blog all the time and you are inspiring to me! You rock!!

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  11. slow and steady wins the race! when i lost all my weight it came off .5 lbs at a time! It would make me SO angry, but after 10 months of consistency i had lost 30lbs and made it to my goal weight!! (ive gained half of it back) Here is a quote that i LOVE, maybe it will help you!

    "Don't give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it....the time will pass anyway"

    Yeah 5lbs dosen't seem like much in two months to you, but you know what? the months passed anyway, id rather be 5lbs down then not!

    You can do this and you WILL!!
    xoxo, Meggan
    www.naturallybare.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for the motivation Meggan! Awesome quote! I am following your blog :)

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  12. Hi Shawna,
    I'm right there with you! I have found a very inspiring podcast show that I have been listening to. Halfsizeme.com. A lady named Heather interviews people about their weightloss. She has lost 170 lbs herself. Success stories seem to motivate me. Have a listen to a few episodes and hopefully you will get the same inspiration that I have. Also, are you still doing Turbofire? I just received mine and am excited and nervous to try it. I'm starting Monday.
    Laura

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    1. Hi Laura! Thanks you so much I will def take a listen to the pod cast! I am still doing Turbo fire but I took a whole week off because everybody including myself was sick in my house :( Looking forward to getting back to it! I love it!!

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