Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Will it ever get easier?

OK, I just want to start off by saying that I'm struggling. I know what I have to do and how to do it, so why is it so hard for me to stay on track and just do it? I have been "dieting" since I was 16 years old! I have always had body issues and always been the bigger girl in every group. I have tried every fast fix diet, pill, drink, you name it and I've done it. And as everyone knows it always ends up in weight loss that comes back and most of the time for me double comes back. I am trying to get the whole "diet" mentality out of my head and focus on the lifestyle change. The whole, nutritious foods, and exercise. I have lost and gained so much weight over the years I have lost track. I couldn't even tell you what my highest weight was because I never owned a scale for the simple fact that I didn't want to know! I am an emotional eater and am also trying to overcome that obstacle. Whether it's happy, sad, mad, whatever I feel the need to eat to try to fill whatever void I have at the moment or just for comfort. I mean it's like I have a part of my brain that triggers with emotion and I just eat. I want to fix it, I really do, but how? I do good for a while and then fall of the wagon and go right back to the same old me. I really started again in the beginning of October. I found an awesome group on FB with a bunch of awesome women all working to get healthy and fit! They inspire me and motivate me! After I found this group I decided to give it one last go and do it for good this time! At that point I went out bought a fancy little scale and went for it. I started out at 257.8 lbs. and last weigh in I was 252.8 lbs. so yeah 5 lbs. in two months. All because I don't stay on track and I loose one week and gain the next it's like a never ending cycle! I hear everyone say how it just "clicks" for them one day and I have had my moment where I told myself I never want to be this big again. I want to be healthy for my little girls. I want to be healthy, I want to be able to walk into any store and find something in my size. I want all these things yet I keep self sabotoshing. Why? Some have said "well, you just don't want it bad enough". I do! I REALLY do!! I know part of it is a cycle I have to break. Another part is always putting everyone else and their needs in front of my own. Walking around on eggshells to make everyone happy and have no conflict. I am a Libra and I am a lover not a fighter. I want peace all the time! LOL I am also a procrastinator, BAD! I know this is going to be a long road of trial and error. I really do want it ya'll and I am totally going for it no matter how many times I fall! Any suggestions or comments welcome! I learn new things everyday and am open to trying new things. Man, it feels good to get all this off my chest and out of my head! Hope you all have a fabulous rest of the day!!


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Weigh In Wednesday

Ok so I have been slacking with my blog. Last entry was last Friday and I totally am trying to do one everyday, but sometimes time just slips away from me. Then before I know it's already Wednesday and tomorrow is Thanksgiving! WTF? Where did this year go? It flew by way to fast! So here it is the dreaded scale... dun dun dun

Down .2 pounds from last week.Not much but at least the scale is going in the right direction! Now to have a loss next week after Thanksgiving is the hard part!

I have also been doing Turbo Fire and again I still love it! I also bought a new heart rate monitor watch so I could see how many calories I burn and what to log into MFP.

One day after my workout I took a pic and burned 777 calories!! WHAT?!! YES! AWESOME!!!!
I will keep working my butt off until I lose all this damn weight!! Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and rest of the weekend!!


Friday, November 16, 2012

A Friday Quote To Live By

Ok so I love to look up quotes when I am feeling discouraged. It seems to help me out and make me open up my eyes a little more to what I need to be doing. It always gets me back on track. When I came across this one I absolutely loved it and it really spoke to me! Hope you enjoy it and hope it gives you a little more strength and motivation just as it did for me!!

Don't Quit
When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down, 
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in, 
and forget all about being healthy and thin. 
So What! You went over your points a bit, 
It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control. 
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace, 
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip, 
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done, 
that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow, 
but facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out, 
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit, 
If you bite it, you write it....But 
don't you quit! 
- Author Unknown

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Let's get the "Turbo Fire" Started

OK so I posted on Friday and was in a terrible mood and a little down in the dumps. Sorry if I brought your mood down with me! Back to feeling somewhat normal and as I said Friday I started my Turbo Fire (TF) Monday evening. Letmejustsay I LOVED it! It was fast paced, had music blaring in the background  and was a lot of kicking, punching, and kicking ass! The 40 minutes flew by and I was pouring sweat! I also did the stretch 10 class after that and cooled off. It was the best workout I've done so far. I felt so good after I was done and have never felt that sense of accomplishment from a workout before. I am sure it had to do with how many calories I burned. 694! Yes that's what I said and nobody is going to burst my bubble! I bought a HRM watch yesterday before I did TF to track calories burned so I could log it. Why did I not have this little device before? I think that is what made me so proud and feel so great about the workout because I actually get to see what hard work will add up to! I really think I have found my nitch in this journey and with TF, my new little watch, and my renewed attitude I think I will finally be able to go further than ever before! I don't know when the kick in the butt moment happened but I feel like I can really do it. I know I will fail at times still but I see those times getting fewer and further between! I hope to keep this feeling because today I feel good!


Friday, November 9, 2012

Friday Finds

1. TOM came today and I have not done good all week! Got one 30 min C25K in and that's it! Eating has been so-so but sweets are killing me!
2. It seems like I do really good one week and then the next I don't! I end up losing and gaining the same lbs. back!
3. Hoping that since purchasing Turbo Fire and starting this coming Monday that I can get my ass in gear and stick to it for once in my life!!
4. It's really hard when you feel like you are alone in this journey! I know I have alot of support here and on MLFC page but wish I had just one person here with me to be my accountability partner!

I'll never give up again now that I've REALLY started back as of October 1st. I just have those 

days where I eat like my old fat girl self and then regret it! I just tell myself slow weight loss is still 

weight loss! But I also know if I want to be at my goal by my 30th birthday next Oct.15th I need to 

kick it in gear and have less of those fat girl days, ya know? lol

Sorry for being the Debbie Downer

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Weigh In Wednesday

Well, I lost 1 pound this week. It's not much but it's better than staying the same or gaining! Plus, considering TOM is creeping up any day now it's awesome!! I have GOT to work on that body fat % as well! UGH :/ Hopefully this number comes down as weight drops? Any ladies have any insight to body fat % you'd like to share with me? Any info is helpful on this long journey I am facing!

I made some more tilapia and broccoli with cheese last night it is my new favorite dinner! SO good.

                                      Forgot to take the pic until it was almost gone :)

My little one was hyper last night and did not want to go to sleep! I played with her for a couple hours and she just would not give it up. She has been feeling under the weather lately and I am ready for her to start to feel better! Although you wouldn't be able to tell she doesn't feel well by the below picture.

Hope you all have had an awesome week so far. It's hump day and almost Friday! Whoop Whoop


Monday, November 5, 2012

Weekend Recap

Oh my it's Monday again already?! I had a good weekend but they are never long enough. Friday night we just stayed in. I went to vote and picked up McAlister's Deli for dinner! I was good, too! Usually I would have gotten (so embarrassed to even say this) the grilled smokey pepper jack turkey with 2 sides of potato salad, a piece of cheesecake, and a sweet tea. Instead I got half a grilled chicken potato and cup of chicken tortilla soup and I didn't even eat half of the potato. GO ME!!!

 After the girls went to bed, the hubby and I had a movie night and watched Wanderlust. It was hilarious!!

 Saturday my hubby took my 4 year old to work with him for a little bit so I decided to buckle my 15 month old into her stroller and go for a 30 minute walk/jog. Tried out my C25K app on my I phone and finished day 1!! Felt so good to get my butt moving and do something productive exercise wise on a Saturday!

 We didn't do anything Saturday night either it was nice to just be home doing nothing. Sunday I got up and did my laundry and cleaned up my mess of a house. The girls went to their Mimi's for part of the day to visit. I made some pumpkin muffins, man I can't get enough of those things! They are so good and low calorie. I also tried out the pumpkin fluff with apples. Ah-Maz-Ing!! All in all it was a good weekend and now it's back to the daily grind. It's a new day and a new week, let's make the best of it!!!!