OK, I just want to start off by saying that I'm struggling. I know what I have to do and how to do it, so why is it so hard for me to stay on track and just do it? I have been "dieting" since I was 16 years old! I have always had body issues and always been the bigger girl in every group. I have tried every fast fix diet, pill, drink, you name it and I've done it. And as everyone knows it always ends up in weight loss that comes back and most of the time for me double comes back. I am trying to get the whole "diet" mentality out of my head and focus on the lifestyle change. The whole, nutritious foods, and exercise. I have lost and gained so much weight over the years I have lost track. I couldn't even tell you what my highest weight was because I never owned a scale for the simple fact that I didn't want to know! I am an emotional eater and am also trying to overcome that obstacle. Whether it's happy, sad, mad, whatever I feel the need to eat to try to fill whatever void I have at the moment or just for comfort. I mean it's like I have a part of my brain that triggers with emotion and I just eat. I want to fix it, I really do, but how? I do good for a while and then fall of the wagon and go right back to the same old me. I really started again in the beginning of October. I found an awesome group on FB with a bunch of awesome women all working to get healthy and fit! They inspire me and motivate me! After I found this group I decided to give it one last go and do it for good this time! At that point I went out bought a fancy little scale and went for it. I started out at 257.8 lbs. and last weigh in I was 252.8 lbs. so yeah 5 lbs. in two months. All because I don't stay on track and I loose one week and gain the next it's like a never ending cycle! I hear everyone say how it just "clicks" for them one day and I have had my moment where I told myself I never want to be this big again. I want to be healthy for my little girls. I want to be healthy, I want to be able to walk into any store and find something in my size. I want all these things yet I keep self sabotoshing. Why? Some have said "well, you just don't want it bad enough". I do! I REALLY do!! I know part of it is a cycle I have to break. Another part is always putting everyone else and their needs in front of my own. Walking around on eggshells to make everyone happy and have no conflict. I am a Libra and I am a lover not a fighter. I want peace all the time! LOL I am also a procrastinator, BAD! I know this is going to be a long road of trial and error. I really do want it ya'll and I am totally going for it no matter how many times I fall! Any suggestions or comments welcome! I learn new things everyday and am open to trying new things. Man, it feels good to get all this off my chest and out of my head! Hope you all have a fabulous rest of the day!!