Eye Opener

Confession time:
I keep saying that I am ready for this challenge and that I am ready to change my life for the better and lose this weight and keep it off for good!! I keep saying that I will start now and not quit so I don't have to keep starting over again!! But my actions speak otherwise and I am so disapointed in myself right now! I did lose a pound from last Tuesday to this Tuesday but I have not started exercising yet and I am still eating some unhealthy things!

Wake up call:
Last night I got a wake up call!! My hubby and I had been fighting all evening. Over what you ask? Money! I hate this but we fight about it all the time but that's a story for a different day. He then tells me that I need to sell my elliptical trainer I have at home because I never use it. That he wasted his hard earned money on it (I work a full time job also!!) and it just sits collecting dust. He then tells me that I keep making excuses about not using it and always say that I am going to start.

I try to tell him about the JM 30DS and the C25K app that I put on my iphone so I can start both of these in October. To him it's just another excuse I am using. As I sat in my bathroom crying ( I am a big cry baby, don't judge) I thought to myself.... I am not mad at him, I am mad at myself because don't ever  tell him I said this, but he was right! I was making excuses in the past and I did keep saying I was going to start and then continue to eat horribly and not work out! I always have good intentions but somehow I get right back to the place where I feel unworthy and food is my comfort. Plus, it is so hard when I am the only one doing it at home! I keep trying to get him to join me, with no success.

Seems crazy but now that I have heard him say that I'm not going to do it, I want to do it even more to prove him and everybody else wrong!!!! I have many haters who would like to see me fail. I would love nothing more than to do this for myself and I think I deserve it!!

Now I need to clarify:
 I love my husband very much!! He is one of my biggest supporters! He just gets frustrated (just like I do) because I am only hindering myself from success! I know that when reading things like these people can get the wrong idea , but if you know me and him you know that we love eachother very much!! Every couple fights but at the end of the day he is my rock! I hope that I can show him that I can do it and in the midst of a fight he unknowingly gave me the push that I need!!!!

On a positive note: I am so excited to start the JM 30DS in October and the challenge from October 17th to December 5th on the Fit page !! I am ready and I know these ladies will hold me accountable and give me motivation and inspiration!!!!

Shawna